I’m home from vacation with a full heart. How about you? Were you able to get away? It can really be therapeutic to move outside the thrum of regular life & experience a new rhythm. A place where no laundry needs to be folded & you don’t have to get up before the rooster…unless you want to! One of my favorite things is to have an adventure with friends. And that’s what we did. I met remarkable new people, & I even made a precious new friend. It literally could not get better for me.
Reflecting back, I realized how important it is to step away and embrace new experiences—but here’s the key: let them upgrade you. So many people worry about their bodies aging, yet I’ve seen far more damage from minds that calcify. Doing something different, seeing the world from a fresh angle—it’s deeply revitalizing.
Pro Tip: Get outside your comfort zone…on purpose!
Why? At our age we need to challenge ourselves to spot ruts. The brain loves patterns, which is why you don’t forget to do things—autopilot can actually be helpful. But living on it atrophies the muscles of curiosity, eventually stealing your sense of wonder & joy. There’s some incredible data on this, y’all. Curiosity, it turns out is as important for healthy longevity as any other muscle! Cherish your curiosity, y’all! It’s a gift that keeps on giving.
Of course, you don’t have to go somewhere to use your curiosity. But it was helpful for me to be unmoored for a time. It allowed me to reconsider my life. Over 50, that’s important. We become so attached to our stories about who we are or what happened to us. Don’t ask me how, but travel has a way of surprising you—and in those moments, you start to rethink who you are, and who you might become. It’s a healthy opportunity to upgrade our story.
🦋 Upgrade Now Available
What do I mean by that? One of the greatest blessings of midlife is entering a season where you slowly begin to see pieces of your past in a new light. It’s weird. But in that space where you recall who said what or why you did that or who did what…we’re gifted an opportunity. I encourage you to consider your memories with the clarity of the woman you are now. Almost always there are nuances, complexities & room for grace we couldn’t give earlier. Especially in our stories we think we know exactly what happened.
Experience brings maturity & hopefully, some wisdom. What you would you say to that girl now? Maybe it’s time to lay down your weapons, forgive yourself, release the shame, stop waiting for justice that’s never coming or realize you were just naive. We humans build entire defense systems on perceptions formed before we were fully mature. They create the internal map we use to navigate the world—but now is the moment to update our inner GPS for greater freedom.
Often we personalized stories that are not just about us. Maybe it wasn’t you he rejected as much as he couldn’t manage his own issues. Maybe you were good enough for the raise, but politics were at play. Maybe the narcissist can’t ruin your whole life if you don’t want that. Maybe you are not eternally damned. Maybe you aren’t just on the scratch & dent table now. Maybe… any number of things.
By seeing your past with your current wisdom, you liberate yourself.
You walk forward in greater grace. Your inner voice becomes truer to guide you to richer relationships & experiences.
Your story is everything. I always say the story you tell yourself - tells you. It informs all your choices. What you believe is true about you (or the world) will either empower you or imprison you. At our age, we’ve lived long enough to realize the walls that keep out threats also keep out Love. And the baller move is to create appropriate boundaries that manage both.
🦋 Plot Twist!
Sometimes when you’re chatting with a friend in a faraway place you’re reminded we all did the best we could. And the things you thought would kill you…danged, if they didn’t make you stronger. Time is a great equalizer if you let it be. Maybe you can release the pain, the shame, the regret the younger you felt & acknowledge your own strong spirit to overcome awful things. The higher view of whatever you came through is that you came through it, girl! The power to free from your past lies within you. It’s the plot twist you need. This truth is timeless…
You’ve always had the power, my dear. You just had to find it for yourself. - Glinda, Wizard of Oz
🦋 Benediction
I hope you travel backroads or across oceans, as you prefer, & discover the best in yourself, the world & others. I hope you come to realize how imperfectly wonderful you are. And I hope that realization fuels you to create more moments filled with laughter, love & wisdom. I hope when you leave one day a shooting star marks your exit because you made your story one of the really good ones.
Make it so! Remember, I’m rooting for you! 🦋
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Gen X & Boomer babes, we’re redefining what it means to be a modern Wise Woman! 🦋🦋🦋🦋
